Look what I got in the mail today.I said I would get one.
It's exactly the same as the one before.
Clearly, R. Zachary's smoke breaks are more fun than they should be.
Again, I urge you to double check those bank statements, dear readers.
I also predict that my air conditioner will fail soon due to a loose wire and ghost bunnies will break into my house to steal my kitchen gadgets. Stay tuned to see if I am truly psychic or merely psycho.
Hilarious!
ReplyDeleteHi, Charlie! I'm totally calling you that in person now too. It took me a minute to figure out who you are (I had to check your b'day on FB & that conformed it for me). Thanks for reading, see you in May!
ReplyDeleteP.S. checking Charlie's b'day did not actually conFORM anything for me. I'm not much for conformity.
ReplyDeleteI think you better check outside for mysteriously parked cars. Keep the corn zipper handy too.
ReplyDeleteYou and Mrs. Big E obviously have a lot in common....
Mrs. Big E gets mail from the stoners at her bank? Mrs, Big E is psychic & possibly psycho? Mrs. Big E is a non-conformist? What do we have in common other than our love for you? Alas, mine is unrequited and inappropriate.
ReplyDeleteThe corn zipper is missing! I'll put the garlic press on the night stand, but it doesn't look very threatening.
Not only does Mrs. Big E receive mail from stoner Bank tellers, she gets it from Medicade baby daddies strung out on Oxycontin and Vicodin.
ReplyDeleteHave her tell you about the business card the old man gave her which had him listed as "International Playboy". - Oh yeah, it really happened, and yes he was serious. No. His name was not Jethro Bodine, and Jed, Elly and Granny were no where to be seen.
Hmm... Psychic and Psycho? Well, one out of two ain't bad. Never mind maybe it is two for two. Stuff happens to Mrs. Big E that really never happens to anyone else (except maybe you as noted in your captains log blog). She knows its coming yet can not stop or avoid any of it. Psychosis or just plain old fate?
Non-conformist? No doubt about it.
Did I mention inappropriate love is her forte? Well, maybe mine too.
Regardless, it is now obvious to me that Truck and I need to provide the both of you with some sort of weapons training. Possibly something involving lighter fluid, garden tools, and personal hygiene devices?
Ah, heck. The "captains log" was supposed to have a strikethrough. My skills have failed me. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteWow! Is 8 comments a new blog record?
ReplyDeleteBring on the self-defense classes. Might I suggest dental care items be a keystone of our training? Toothlessness is a recurring theme in my suitors. As is limited English.
ReplyDeleteNine now. Yes it is a record, but it's only three different people & one is me.
Nothing to say really, just adding to the numbers so you'll feel good about yourself and continue to entertain us!
ReplyDelete