Tuesday, January 6, 2009

So I remembered something I was going to post weeks ago

A few days before Christmas I was walking into Wal-Mart.  An attractive younger man was loading up the trunk of what had to be a car borrowed from his Grandma.  It already looked really full, but he still had an ironing board left to fit in.  

I actually stopped and watched to see if he could do it.  He did and I gave him a little clap.  He smiled, full of Christmas cheer, and said "They don't make trunks like this anymore.  They are great for Christmas shopping."  So I say "Yeah, and for moving bodies from the scene of the crime."

His smile disappeared and he pretty much vaulted over his car in his hurry to get away from me.

I really didn't mind looking like a weirdo, he was the jackass buying someone an ironing board for Christmas.


  1. The little jackass was obviously a heating/ac repair guy and just didn't realize who he was talking to until it was too late. That trunk was probably full of Tootsie Rolls as well...

  2. YOU'RE BACK ON MY COMMENTS! I missed you, don't stay away so long ever again. I specifically posted this tidbit because I knew if you were reading you would be unable to let it go by without a comment. I totally smoked you out.

  3. My bet is that there was a body or two under all those Christmas gifts. He probably realized you were on to him and he wanted to skeedaddle before you called 911. And the ironing board was probably going to be used for transporting the bodies out of the car to their final destination. And the "Christmas cheer" smile was actually a smile meaning that he saw you as a cute little victim #3 until you opened your mouth and scared him away. So I say to keep up the snarky comments...it was probably your saving grace against a sure serial killer. Oh, and I'm home again today but feeling MUCH better, hence the caps!

  4. YIPPEE! I recommend a strict diet of Wendy's french fries and Diet Coke today. That is what brought me back to the land of the living after my last stomach flu. At first it sounded gross, but once I started eating, the salt grease & caffeine kicked my undernourished body right into gear. I know your nutritionist would recommend water and nutrient rich foods, but I flip the bird to that and say bring on the JUNK!

  5. Hmmm...I'll give that some thoughts. Sounds good right now, I'm actually a little hungry. I had a banana at 4 am and then cereal at 8 since that stayed down. But I will be off to get a diet coke soon so I may try the fries too...you think McD's or Jack in the Box would do the trick as well as Wendy's? It's a little too far away!